Burger King on the Moon, soon?

In 1964, Pete Seeger wrote and sang "what did you learn in school today, dear little boy of mine?"

Most of my generation grew up with a different version by Danish singer-comedian, Eddie Skoller, poking fun of every nationality and accent, including Denmark and the US:

"I learned that Denmark is a little land, and in Denmark they do not understand, what the outside world is for, and then we didn't learn no more"..... US: "I learned that we were the first to put a man on the moon and I'm sure there will be a hamburger stand there soon; the next thing will be a military base but only to protect the human race....that's what I learned in school today, that's what I learned in school."


When I began my worldly travel 15 years ago, I could always count on being able to find a piece of that local culture...something unique from the country I visited. Sushi chopsticks from Tokyo; special coffee from the Blue Mountains in Jamaica; wooly sweaters from Ireland and flamingo music and cheap shoes from Spain. The only constant was McDonalds or Burger King. Today every city offers the same stores and the same merchandise....Mulberry, The Gap, Gucci, Starbucks. It has become so boring and unadventurous to travel in major cities that have the same flagstores everywhere.


TV is no different. Having been tied to the couch & 3 Danish TV stations, the past 11 days following my hysterectomy (I wasn't going to mentioned it but here we are) - I've noticed it doesn't matter where in the world you choose to lounge. " Who Wants to Be a Danish Millionaire in Britain's Got Talent So You Think You Can Dance in Holland with your Swedish Big Brother while you try to become America's Next Top Model, overcome your German Fear Factor and battle it out in Australia's Outback Survivor though you really are The Weakest Link and not the X-Factor you thought you were!!"
It's a global economy and global entertainment industry - whatever works in one language obviously works in another!


I'm glad that morphine too, works no matter what country you are in. Pain knows no boundaries and I for one feel I have crossed all borders of agony, so will swallow any little jagged pill to get pain free. Ah yes, modern medicine! Between that and Space exploration I'm sure we will have Starbuck and Burger King on the moon, soon.

God Save the Queen....and Henry!

Poor Henry! His cockadoodle doo sounded more like a teenage girl getting molested, than a full on proud rooster wake up call! But then he is only a youngster and a mini chicken. He did manage to wake me with his pathetic doodle two mornings in a row, while I stayed at Sally's in the UK. It's amazing how many families are going "green" and ecological - raising their own free roaming chickens and laying their own eggs (hens, not people) - but one has to wonder if the village zoning allows for roosters calling at the sun in small back yards.

The boys and I took a detour for a few days to good ole Brittania (work trip) and I spent the weekend horsing around on Harley and Lou, while Aidan and Hunter saw their buddies. Sushi in London with my boss and meetings in the UK office kept me busy a few days....

As always, it was a fantastic trip and great to ride in green surroundings, rather than sand dunes. I was quite surprised to see a castle and village in the middle of Bourne Woods! Last summer this old medieval scenery was not there - at least not to my knowledge - so I thought archeologists had been busy un-earthing old English artifacts. The castle was burnt and very real looking but soon I discovered that it was nothing but scaffolding and hardened foam. It was in fact no longer Bourne Woods but Sherwood - Russell Crowe's new film "Nottingham" about Robin Hood. Russell in tights, hmmnn - interesting, if not a farce! Unfortunately I was too late to see any action. Work crews were taking down the set and leaving the greenery to grow back. Sounds like there was a lot of controversy on the set and that Sienna Miller was sacked because she made Russell look old. Well, Russell - you are old! Duh!

This time we got to see Alison, Graham, Mark and Donna again - and probably gained 5 lbs due to the most awesome homemade Tiramisu (Alison is a great cook!) - but I have been warned by Donna not to post any pictures! As she is our most loyal blog follower, I have no choice but to honor her wishes. Besides, mark didn't do anything embarrasing enough - like letting ladies ride his back - so there is no point... Alison didn't say I couldn't post her so I snug one in :))

Now back in Copenhagen and still being kept awake - not by Rooster wannabees, but by desert rats running about in their cage and biting their metal door. I have the pleasure of sleeping in my nephew Oliver's bed with Spiderman sheets and his little critters are obviously night creatures (sigh) so my sleep is heavily interrupted. Mutti has been busy making a blanket for Slim for his bed (no I don't think we spoil him!) and Josefine and her proudly presented it to me when I arrived back.

We are anxiously awaiting Aric's arrival the 20th, not sure who is more excited, him or the boys...it has been a long time apart and we ended up changing his ticket because the longing is too unbearable! Oh yeah, I miss him too :)

Family Time

Poor Slim has blisters on 3 of his paws! Apparently he chased another dog around, playing hard for an hour on the concrete (which is hot)...he is licking his wounds today accroding to Aric. That will teach him to run around like an idiot dog.

Less hot in Denmark today, where the quiet summer rain is falling, making everything smell fresh and clean.

My friend Ella, her son Joni (Hunter's best friend), Hunter and I, just ran 5k. We jogged down to the small pier close to our old house - where we have memories of jumping in on Christmas and New Years day in 2002 like true vikings. I don't think it was much warmer today than those days in the winter of 2002, but it felt very refreshing to launch a cannon ball into the clear water and then float around for a few minutes. Jogging home was a wet affair, though I am inspired to do it again tomorrow morning :)

The past few days have been a series of social gatherings - dinner with Charlotte (Aidan's first Nanny and our very good friend) - she made luxury burgers with her boyfriend Brian. It seemed a good idea to bicycle all the way to Copenhagen center (7 miles) in the evening sun. After a few glasses of wine, I must admit that handling the bike and attempting to stay on the path at 12.30 am, required my tongue absolutely dead center to focus. Apparently I made it home, because I woke up the next morning in bed and the bike was parked neatly in its spot behind the house. Either I'm a well functioning drunk or I had a guardian angel!

Sunday, we visited my aunt and uncle, Lone and Erling and my cousins were there - Gitte, Martin and his girlfriend and daughter, Michelle and Deva. Gitte, like me, had a body full of big aches since we rode in Dyrehaven for 2 hours on Saturday. Funny how 6 months of hiatus since my last horsey outing can cause un-used muscles to rebel and get that stiff! Our whining didn't get us far - we ended up laughing all our self pity away. Great home made lasagna and pizza did the trick.

This week is the last week in the borrowed house. Saturday the boys and I go to England - they want to see their old friends and I have one more weekend of horsing around. Monday and Tuesday I have meetings and Wednesday we return to Denmark. Aric is getting lonely and envies all our activities, so he may end up coming to Denmark sooner than the 24th. We will see.

That depends on whether the kennel can take Slim a bit sooner.

The benefit of being a mobile worker, is that I can be...well...mobile! So I mobilized the boys and took them to Denmark, out of the dust and heat for 6 weeks. We left Slim and Aric behind in sand city, where they are living a true Bachelor Life.

After a few days of relaxing at Mutti's - getting over jetlag and settling, we moved into the home, I exchanged for our Sanibel house, for 3 weeks. What a super good idea to use the internet for vacation home exchange!! The house is perfect for the boys and I. 4 bedrooms and a magnificent kitchen, living and dining area; French doors out to a private nice garden. Too bad we can't have it all summer, but 3 weeks are better than nothing.

Last week, I spent my birthday in the North at my best friend Josephine's cottage. She and two other girlfriends, Michelle and Rikke, arranged a girl's dinner and evening and it was an emotional, fun and chatty night with great food, an award winning cake :) and wine. Wish we were all closer but it was a wonderful evening.

The boys have scattered. That usually happens when we get to Copenhagen. Aidan goes off to practically live with Julius, his best friend since 1st grade and Hunter divides his time between Joni and Mads, also best friends from the Danish school since Kindergarten. They come back when they need more money! This summer both of them are going to Sweden for 4-5 days with Julius and other friends. I guess this is "practice separation" for when Aidan goes off to University or a gap year somewhere in the third world.

This weekend my cousin Gitte and I co-hosted a Champagne Brunch in full Dubai style! Her birthday is today and it seemed like a good occasion to celebrate with the family. I do get a little time in for work :) in between all the social events I run off to. Shopping has also found a spot on my agenda and I need a bigger suitcase when we return to Dubai. Cannot pass up 40-70% sales!

I run every morning and supplement with bike riding in the afternoons. It is a real treat to be able to run outside without having to make it 5am to avoid the heat. Dubai is just too hot right now to do anything strenuous outside.

Aric joins us August 24 for a week - before we all head back to the Sandbox Aug 31. I think he is looking forward to escape the heat too. Unfortunately Slim has to stay behind in a kennel for that week. The paperwork and process to bring him out is longer than an expat coming in, so we felt he will be better off staying cool with other dogs in the luxurious airconditioned kennel.

Here, we speak Arabic!!

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Jebel Ali police station can only be described as a trailer park in Southern Kentucky (sans the signs in Arab) and the statement session can only be described as the film "Lost in Translation" - in overdrive! Day 4 - Sipping tea (which tasted like milky coffee) we prepared for Hunter's interrogation. It should have been a plain statement giving episode but by default, the Arab language sounds like people are angry and spit at you. So naturally we expected no less than fingernail pulling and electric shock treatments.

We obviously did not get off to a good start by not having Hunter's passport - hey, it was a statement about a stolen bike, not arrivals at terminal 3! The officer was clearly irritated over that because he couldn't spell Hunter's name in Arabic. The he started asking questions about the bike and the place where it was stolen, while he wrote down all the answers on a plain piece of paper. After half an hour he took the paper and started typing all of the info into the PC.

Aric had strongly advised Hunter to tell the truth - meaning the whole incident about the young lovers and the narrow escape over the balcony, etc. I strongly advised Hunter to lie, knowing that if he didn't get arrested for trespassing and parking his bike at an empty home, he would surely be arrested and possibly deported for being alone with a female in a home with no supervision. Aric saw the point and yielded! So, Hunter sat there and fabricated a new story (even though we had been consistent in telling the original story 4 times previously - but I was counting on Saddam not understanding that 100%).

The official statement reads in Arabic that Hunter was visiting Amru, a friend of his, whose telephone number he can't remember, whose last name he can't remember and whose house number he forgot. But he was there for 2 hours before both he and Amru went to another friend's house in Meadows 3, house number 12, no specifics if this friend was a male or female. And in the meantime his bike got stolen. Yep, sounds good to me! Aric turned more and more red faced as the story unfolded and sounded more and more outlandish. But the officer wrote it all down. I tried to look completely disinterested in case they analyzed body language and strange ticks! I'm not really a good liar, but Hunter has several Oscar nominations in his past! Must have been the fake nerd glasses he wore!

It wasn't until the officer asked Hunter, if he thought it was a mistake to park the bike at the empty house, that I woke up and started protesting. Aric and I were both on the edge of our seats telling Hunter to answer that question with a "no". The officer was clearly confused and looked at Aric and I like we were two mad laywers from "Boston Legal". At this point we were about an hour and a half into the visit and I for one had lost all patience. My brother Mark and I were supposed to cook Enchiladas for the whole family and here I was - stuck in a Mayberry trailer with Barney Fife!

On the way there, Aric had specifically warned us to stay calm no matter what. I have a history of saying some less than desirable words to police officers, both in Chicago and Disney World, so Aric reminded me that we were in a 'not so tolerable country'. All Aric's warnings fell on deaf ears, as I looked straight at the officer, pointed my finger (another big no-no) and told him that if he thought he could get away with accusing my son of being a criminal, he had another thing coming! My voice may have gotten a bit louder because I noticed that all eyes in the room were on me. Aric sent me dagger looks but I was not to be stopped. The officer told me that I must have misunderstood his question and then he asked again, "wasn't it wrong and an error to park the bike at an empty house who wasn't his?" OK MISTER - there is NO misunderstanding. I told Hunter to say NO. Hunter calmly said "no, the house was empty so I didn't see the mistake?" (Yes, score one to the Aults).

Less than 30 seconds later Saddam entered the room and asked what the problem was. I told him I was tired of the interrogation like scenario and asked how long we would need to go through this to get a statement for the insurance company.

Saddam then said, look, it is a crime to go in to a property even though it is empty, as there is an owner - somewhere. I told him this was ridiculous to which he answered, OK "so if you have an empty home and you are somewhere else in the world, I can park my car in your driveway?" I was so fed up with him that I cynically said "yes, if you pay me enough" - then shook my head. He was clearly not amused and I knew I would get nowhere with him. Short of telling him to F*** off, I threw the papers on the desk and said I was done with them, I would wait outside.

Aric and Hunter came out 30 mintues later. I was on pins and needles! Aric told me that after I left, he asked the officer and Saddam "are you happy now, you have upset a woman, do you feel good?" Then he pointed to a big poster, which advertised e-complaints, and said to the guy in charge: "I'm going to file a complaint over how we are treated, because if you were in our country you would never ever be treated like this" - good for you Aric! Let's not bring up Quantanamo Bay and all the Arabs detained there. Just for better effect he asked Saddam to write his name down so he could spell it right in the complaint. The guy said he didn't understand much English (even though he had no language problems earlier - and he arrogantly said "here we speak Arabic" to which Aric said, yeah? well I'm an expat here and I speak English! Apparently the major arrived at that point and assured Aric that the case would be finalized, Aric could pick up the statement the next morning and just in case of any issues he gave his personal mobile number.

We had a good dinner, albeit late. The next day (day 5) Aric went to pick up the statement and to nobody's surprise, the guy there could not find the documents. He couldn't find anything in the computer either because he couldn't spell Hunter's name in Arabic. Maybe they should try filing cases in English!!?? Aric was then told to come back at 10pm when the same shift office was present. Aric told them - politely, with grinding teeth - after going into a complete hissy fit - that they could file the case in a dark place, he was done with them. He told me to send the insurance papers without the police report; it was not worth any more aggrevation to wait for the report.

The following morning (day 6) I received a call from Jebel Ali mobile park, from a Captain "I- can't-remember-his-name-but-it-was-something-Arabic" asking why Mr. Aric had not picked up the document the night before. Are you kidding me??? I told the guy we had been trying for days to get the statement and that we were out of patience. The Captain said it was very unfortunate Mr. Aric got so angry the day before - there were procedures and we must understand that! I felt like telling him where he could stuff his procedures, but instead I went to the police station and miraculously walked out with a letter, in Arabic and with a lot of stamps, and one word in English: "Specialized" - the name of Hunter's bike.

What the rest of the letter said is a mystery. Probably read that Hunter's mom is a lunatic.

The Captain told me they have 4 shifts and it doesn't take an MIT student to calculate that the officers work 6 hours a day.... they clearly suffer from case overloads!! No wonder Mohammed doesn't know what Abdullah does, or Rashid is unaware of where Omar files his cases.

I would hate to know what people do when there is a real crime in Dubai!

Kids, kids, kids...and Slim

We interrupt the Fairy Tale about the young love birds and the stolen silver horse, to bring you a family update.

Mark (Pia's brother) and his wife Tina, kids Oliver and Josefine, visited for 2 weeks in July. It was a full house and a fabulous time with Aquaventure days, camel hunting (for pictures), shopping, shopping, pool, boat, sun and a bit more shopping. Friday brunches, dinners and a salsa nite also became part of the agenda for Mark and Tina.

Slim has never had so much play time as he did these past two weeks - Josefine made sure he didn't rest. Just when it looked to became a little too much screaming and moodiness from Josefine, Pia took Aidan and Hunter and headed to Copenhagen - out of the sandbox - for 7 weeks. While Mark, Tina and the kids stayed with Slim and Aric and had a couple of days in Atlantis and swimming with the dolphins.

They arrived back in Copenhagen last night tired but full of fantastic holiday memories. Aric will stay behind in the dust until August 24, when he joins us in Denmark for a well deserved holiday in the much cooler North.

The twelve days of police station visits (episode 2 of the "Stolen Bike")

It would be another 4 days before the journey to Jebel Ali (translated: Ali Mountain) because in-between, Aric and I spent a long weekend with several other Cisco couples in Ras Al Khamiah, relaxing, boating and golfing (men) and Spa-ing (women). I felt this was highly needed after the nightmare of having to deal with Dubai CSI, Khadaffi and Saddam all in one afternoon.

Aric volunteered to go with me to the police station to file a report. This was a great idea because women are not seen as the major force in "getting things done" in Dubai.

We arrived (day 1) at the shack representing the police station. Inside was a make-shift counter where we told the duty officer that we wanted to file a stolen bike report. He told us to speak with the Sergeant Director (I think this was Kaddafi’s younger brother) and while we waited to be invited into his office, we sat on the bench facing several Indian detainees daisy chained together in handcuffs. Of course I wondered what crime they had committed (maybe one was a gardener who had taken a silver bike??) - they all looked a bit lost but appeared happy as soon as they were unlocked and allowed to go outside for a "fresh air" break (as if 115 Fahrenheit could be considered fresh air). It was just like a dog kennel where the animals are taken out for a potty trip! Well, that’s blog story for another day. Back to our fairy tale about the lost silver bike.
Aric and I finally got to talk to the guy we thought was quite high on the totem pole. Kaddafi junior asked us why we were there. After another attempt to explain that we just wanted to file a report, so we could get the insurance claim submitted, he told us we needed to come back at 10pm when the next shift captain would be on duty. This made no sense (and both of us made sure to communicate that). Kaddafi junior told us that he only spoke very little and very bad English (no sh*t Sherlock) – so we asked to speak to the guy who appeared to have taken on-line language courses at Cambridge, colonel Abdullah something. We know he’s a colonel because Aric and he had a 30 minute conversation about rank and what the various tinsel stuff on their uniform represented. One star, you are “nothing” – two stars you are a little more….one star, a falcon and a set of crossed swords and you have about 40 years in service and still remember when oil was still a black sticky substance that came out of the sand. We wanted to talk to the guy with the falcon and swords, definitely!

Sadly he told us the same thing. “We have 4 shifts and the guy who worked on your case has not put anything in the system yet (after 2 weeks) so we cannot help you! Please come back at 10pm and speak to Captain Omar Bin Rashabaha-bla-bla-bla”! We left after an hour and a half – confused, mad and with no copy of the police report.

At 10pm that evening I called the station. I asked for Captain Omar Bla bla bla (thinking he was actually the Saddam cop who was at the scene with CSI Dubai). “No this is MAJOR Omar Bin Rasha bla-bla-bla – I am a MAJOR not a Captain. Oh boy! I asked him what he had on his shoulders – he told me he had a flag, two falcons, four swords, six stars and partridge in a pear tree! Apologizing profusely, I told him that Colonel Abdullah had told me he was a captain (always blame the other guy!!)

Anyway the Major turned out to be a nice guy even though he never gave me a case number – because as he explained, which makes TOTAL sense - the guy on the third shift had locked the cabinet and he had no access! Of course not! Silly me! So Major Omar Bin Rasha Bla-bla-bla invited me back the next day – with the wee lad - to give a statement (the fourth verbal statement but who’s counting). I couldn’t wait! I told Aric I wanted to put my best dress on because the Major had personally invited me to come and be confused yet again.

The next day (day 2), La Familia sat in the special office where tea was served to the officers and guests and we had the pleasure of Hunter being interrogated.

Episode 3 will follow very soon.