Umm al-QuMEN

If one could make a Hollywood movie like "Wild Hogs", about a boating weekend rather than a mid-life crisis biker trip, this would be it and it would be called "Wild Mariners". A bunch of dramatic, self-doubting, middle age, adrenaline-craving men, in search of an undefined dream or goal, gathered at the Palm Beach Resort (not to be confused with the actual Palm Beach haven in Florida) for a massive horse powered, Mastercraft sponsored wake boarding extravaganza.

It was supposed to be a family boating and camping weekend but as expected, turned into an engine revving, hull comparing, stunt filled, "whose boat is faster and who can do the most flips" weekend, where I found myself anxiously sneaking Slim around in secret. No pets were allowed and of course we did not see that sign posted until we had driven 2 hours and arrived at the Umm al-Quwain Marina.

Packing him up in a blanket like a well traveled gypsy, he could have passed for a 10 month old baby squirming in my arms while Aric checked us in to a “seen better days” double suite. We decided not to rough it in a tent with a puppy that would no doubt chase bugs and howl all night. Not that I think I’m getting too old for camping, but somehow air-conditioning, shower and a real toilet, sounded better than squatting in the sand while trying to avoid mosquitoes in the hot & humid night. Instead, the boys spent the two nights in our tent right on the beach with camp fire, marshmallows and the lack of an air mattress.

Slim was happy sleeping right in between Aric and I in the hotel bed. During the day we smuggled him through the marina gates and on to our boat and in the evening when we attended the BBQ dinner, he was cool and calm in the A/C with a “do not disturb” sign on the door. The Palm Beach Resort was an interesting place – a mix of families enjoying their weekend off and single Arab men who seemed to get a lot of female visitors from Russia (?!) The little convenience hotel shop had an interesting array of snacks, soft drinks, beach towels, very raunchy lingerie and shelves full of condoms. Somehow I don’t think there were a whole lot of weekend prayers going on in the rooms. Didn’t bother us much; we were there to enjoy the boat, wakeboarding and sun. I just find the whole concept a little hypocritical amongst the strict Muslim code.

Driving around Friday afternoon looking for firewood, I didn’t see a single woman. So, I have re-named the emirate from Umm al-Quwain to Umm al-Qumen. With only about 62,000 inhabitants, it is the least populous emirate in the federation. But you would think there would be more women out and about. I did get chatted up by a father and his two teenage boys, who actually spotted Slim and thought he was “the most beautiful dog they had ever seen”! Now we know that’s not exactly true, so I was rather suspicious. After all I was wearing a short sun dress and with no other women (or dogs) around, both Slim and I stood out like a sore thumb! I asked the guy where his wife was and he told me she was at their home. (Barefoot, pregnant, and cooking in her oppressive burka no doubt!!) Anyway, it ended up being an enlightening conversation where I learned that the two sons were going to Russia for vacation and they did actually pet Slim in the end, though they were frightened by him in the beginning. He has that affect on people in the UAE. Sometimes I feel I am walking Godzilla around on a leash, the Indian workers jump 4 feet back and freeze when we pass them on the street. Like he will attack and eat them?!?!

We got our firewood and while the boys pretended to be on a desert island, isolating themselves with soda, chips and hotdogs, Aric and I had dinner with the rest of the Mastercraft owners, all very nice couples and much like us – working all week and boating on the weekend.

It was a packed weekend with lots of learning new tricks and wake surfing. The area was also very beautiful with lots of mangroves and wildlife in the protected lagoon surrounded by small islands. Early in the morning the Arabian horses from a nearby stable were being exercised in the water and could be seen swimming along the shore with a yard boy. What a sight!

http://www.ummalquwainmarina.ae/en/

Howdy Neighbor !

I have really neglected my blog for a while. We have been too busy with the boat, which is definitely stepping up our social life. It's so amazing how many new friends you get when you have a cool toy like that!

Anyway, I am propped up in bed with a glass of wine and feeling very inspired to write, from watching "Marley and Me" last night with Lori, a new girlfriend who I was introduced to through my boss, on Facebook. That's a story for another blog, but Lori and I went to see this comedy about life with a dog who misbehaves. It strangely reminded me of life with Slim. Between laughing and crying, (Lori and I balled like a couple of women at the wailing wall, at the end of the movie), I was encouraged and inspired to continue our blog, by watching Owen Wilson, playing the husband, who is a reporter writing a weekly column.

So many things happen daily and I keep thinking "I must write that down" but life takes over and when it comes time to write, I've forgotten what I wanted to say. The comfy new bed (yes, we finally found a bed) and the 7 pillows in my back, help my creativity flow (or maybe it's the wine?)

Aric bought this under-carriage contraption of a mechanical lift from Ikea, which lifts part of the mattress up to a "sitting, leaning, reading" position. He was too cheap to get the remote control version so one has to squeeze the hand and arm way down between the mattress and bed frame, quickly, to avoid the blood circulation getting cut off, in order to lift the contraption up a few gears...kind of like a hotel pool lounge chair, only with an 8 inch thick, hard and stiff mattress on top. I refuse to use it and am perfectly happy with my multiple pillows. Once the damn thing is up, you have to get out of bed to stick your arm down and get the lever to bring it down!
And when you lay there with it raised, it feels like a hospital bed. I'm waiting for the nurse to come in any minute to take my vitals. The TV mounted on the wall is missing though!

We get new neighbors this weekend. Apparently I scared away the previous "almost moved in" tenants, because these people are not the same as the ones we met a month ago who "were moving in". We almost had Egyptian neighbors, which culturally would have been very interesting, was it not for the wife acting hysterical in the hallway. Our security guy told us "that lady is totally crazy" in his wonderful Indian accent; she proceeded to clear out all large planters and pots from their pool area and put them out for the trash collection. Among them I found my potting soil and various garden materials for our flower pots. This was stored in the common area between our pool rooms on the roof, and she just disposed of it all. Off to the building office I marched and a few days later our doorbell rang. The crazy lady was outside apologizing for her wrong-doings. Perhaps it was my facial expression, or maybe Slim, sniffing her feet while she stuttered through her apology, but after that we never saw them again. A month later we meet our new neighbors, a couple from Minnesota....how cool is that? Bart and Carrie - so far they seem really nice. Can't say I'm terribly unhappy about the crazy Egyptian lady not showing up.

Bart and Carrie are moving into a building soap opera. Granted every house or apartment has its faults and things that need maintenance. This building has apparently never been properly outfitted with correct incoming voltage or AMP or whatever it is that runs A/C and lighting. It's supposed to be a “state of the art, intelligent” building, from a credible real estate developer (Trident) partnering with Pacific Control, who makes the entire IT system that controls everything in our apartment....lights, A/C, curtains, doorbell, security system, CCTV cameras on the roof and in the living room in case we want to remotely access our system online to check on Slim....it's so intelligent I wonder why it doesn't cook, clean and does the laundry.

Since we moved in (in December) we have never been able to get the control panel to work. The first 3 weeks the lights in the kitchen and dining room were on 24/7. They fixed that, but then blew the rest of the lights so 16 halogen bulbs needed to be replaced. That got fixed, but then the water heater stopped working. They fixed that and the camera (even though we don't use the spy cam) and then the A/C stopped working. You get the idea....fix one thing and another problem arises. Every event has Trident blaming Pacific Control and vice versa. And every fix has a charge for this, that and the other.

We finally met more tenants (it so happens that 3 other people here also work for Cisco) who told us they have the same problems...to my delight, as I was getting worried I was the ultimate building witch. It seems other people have problems with the lighting and their A/C. We have created an email alias and now I can read everything about other people’s misery. One guy on the 10th floor says he has “disco lights” every time he turns on his living room, they keep flashing. Several tenants report burning smells and lights malfunction – that happened to us last week. The wires lay across the halogen bulbs and eventually melt. Such a safe environment. So the time has come to write a joint letter to the management and get a consolidated outside maintenance contractor to service all of us. That decision came quickly after Aric had an argument (read: yelling fit) with the Pacific Control man who came to fix Aidan’s A/C fan. It sounds like a jet taking off at O’Hare. He was the one who blew the doorbell circuit last week when he came to fix the lights but denied all wrong doing. Aric finally had enough of the blame game and constant charges for adapters, transformers and thermostats. After nearly having a coronary and terrible high blood pressure, we still await the fan fix but the doorbell works! Can’t be too upset though, at least we have a roof over our heads.

This weekend has us trekking to Umm Al Quwain, the Emirate to the North, for a couple of days boating, camping and frolicking in the sun. That’s a story for the next blog. Have a great weekend all.

Let's see The World!

My husband is aspiring to become Jack Sparrow, Captain Hook or possibly Captain Stubing from "The Love Boat". I think he is forgetting that they are all fictional characters with a crew of sailors who somehow always manage to avoid the reefs. Navigating the high seas by watching the sun or relying on one's "gut feeling" is not a reliable method when you're in a sandstorm with limited visibility and no GPS, as we found out when spending a day on the boat with our friends Peter and Lorraine Saturday.

It started out a great day - windy (and a bit sandy) but warm and pleasant - as we boarded with croissants, fruit, coffee and sunlotion. As our dear Captain Adventure turned the key to the engine we realized we were out of gas! The day before we had a family day on the boat and the kids wakeboarded for hours - lesson learned: don't trust the fuel gauge! Peter and Aric soon talked the Marina crew into lending us a spare gas jug which gave us enough fuel to get to the pump.

We were planning to cruise the bay between the Jumeirah shoreline, around the Palm and Atlantis. As soon as we reached the mouth of the harbor the waves got a little bigger but nothing the power of the boat can't handle - she cuts the waves like butter and then slams down so you jump a foot in the air! It did make it challenging to keep the coffee in the cups.

Shortly after Atlantis, Aric got the bright idea to sail out to "The World", the group of sand islands which some day will resemble a giant map of all the countries. He set the course due North and we rode the, by now, 6 foot waves for about 20 minutes. Suddenly out of the sandy horizon we saw an island. Must have been the tip of South America if my estimation is correct. Fascinating! All that sand, sand, sand and more sand. The weather was actually getting worse, just like a Hollywood movie where you expect the characters to have stupid accidents onboard and fall over one by one. We were now slamming the waves so hard that my butt hurt and Lorraine and I were soaked from the ocean spray - no not the drink, the actual ocean spray!

Aric turned the boat around and we headed for the Palm, or so we thought. Peter and our good captain looked at the sun's position and figured we were going South East. That's pretty much what the compass was telling us too, except we weren't seeing any land after 30 minutes. We did keep seeing sand bars to the left, so I told Aric he was going in circles and we were seeing the World over and over again. Much like a husband who "doesn't need no stinking directions" he turned slightly and said we were going straight for Dubai. Mmhhmm, yes we sure were. After an hour, I asked what way the compass pointed and Aric said it was spinning around. That was very comforting to me, nothing like a spinning compass. We still had sand bars to the left and finally Lorraine and I told Aric to turn hard right....after another 5 minutes we saw land, it looked more like Egypt with pointy sand pyramids, than Dubai with high rises. Apparently we had reached Jumeirah public beach some 10 miles North-East from where we left Atlantis. We had actually sailed all along the World from Argentina, passed Africa, India, China and ended beyond Australia. I think that's a world record in sailing around the world! Completely in the opposite direction of what the gut feeling told Aric. I told him my gut feeling was that he better buy a damn GPS system at the boat show this week. The fruit we brought onboard had turned into a smoothie and the boat looked like it had participated in a mud wrestling competition from all the dirty sand and grime.

To top it off, on the way back to the harbor, we hit a giant wave and huge wake from a passing boat, head-on, which caused us to slam down so hard we lost a wakeboard out of its holder (we turned around and recovered it) and stripped a screw to the windshield so it was busted out of its frame. Definitely a very exciting boat trip!

Two hours of cleaning after the trip is too much for even a OCD clean freak like me, so I have decided I only go out on clear, calm days from now on. And I'm sending Aric to navigation school!