Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Full Moon Fever!

The heat is seriously getting to people! It's hitting 47-48C (116F) !!! And 60-75% humidity. It's enough to make even the most sane people go looney.

Add to that the full moon on the 15th, which can have effects plus / minus 4 days and you have a cocktail for strange behaviors.

Here I was a few days ago, coming out of my lawyer's office on Sheikh Zayed Road, very happy with myself, because although the Cisco lawyers came back with an offensive and totally idiotic counter offer - it has become obvious that they were never briefed adequately by HR, which strengthens my case further. So my lawyer is now pulling out all ammo to hit back and it is not going to be pretty (I've got a tiger in a kitten's disquise) just my kind of woman! Ah but I digress....I turned onto a side road to go back to the World Trade Center roundabout (a cross between Basingstoke's worst roundabout and Arc De Triumphe in Paris) - and I looked and looked again, making sure I could take my right turn in peace. All clear, I drive out, center myself in the middle lane - only to see a person behind me in a Landrover, gesturing so dramatically that I thought: either the guy has Cerebral Palsy or it's Joe Cocker driving behind me! Shaking his head, throwing his hands up in the air continuously, he could have been nominated for over actor of the year. We eventually hit the roundabout and we ended up next to eachother with a lane between us. I rolled down my window and for once I was calm and collected because clearly I did nothing wrong; so I was curious what the hell his issue was.

Pia: "What is your problem?"
Joe Cocker Man in Landrover, taking off his sunglasses like he is the new Horacio from CSI Miami and in posh British accent (think Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice):
"My problem is that you're a crap driver! You can't help it, you're a woman!"
Pia - about to fall out of my 4x4 all wheel Toyota and by now yelling over a taxi who has pulled up in lane between us: "Oh excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for being born pal, but you nearly ended up in my gas tank, so I don't think you should be talking about bad driving!"
Joe Cocker Man in Landrover, clearly smug and overpaid British banker: "You pulled out right in front of me!"
Pia (now really pissed that he is getting a bonus when half the world is defaulting on their mortgages): "I did not, I looked twice and it was 100% clear, so obviously you went too fast on a two lane road, which is not my problem, but yours! But have a nice day sweetheart!"
British overpaid banker: "you too popsy pie!" POPSY PIE?????

I swear it was the full moon and high temp - plus the fact that he is probably a summer bachelor (wifey and kiddos gone back to Cornwall to spend the summer in cooler climate, while hubby has pent up frustration for being left behind to work during Ramadan - no wonder he acted like Joe Cocker)....AAARRRGGHHH!! One, two, three, fo..... I'm cool!!

Well, not worth blowing a gasket over. My next stop was the US consulate where Aric and I had to have several important documents notarized. It's a long story but we are now nearly divorced on paper, with separate bank accounts, me turning over all US property to him and him signing the offshore investment plans over to me! Thanks Obama and IRS!

Going to the US consulate always raises our blood pressure, because truly, they act like you are coming in with a pocket full of anthrax. Every frigging document and piece of personal belonging is scanned, x-ray'ed and searched over and over three times by the time you reach the 21st floor of the World Trade Center. Once you get to the final counter, the person goes, hey, what's up, what can we do for you today? WELL FOR STARTERS YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY RESPECT A US CITIZEN!! (that of course would not apply to me, the FBI wanted fugitive that I am...I'm just happy to be let in the door and I always let hubster do the talking ;-)

Tomorrow will have me two years away from 50! Or as I like to say...I'm thirty-eighteen! Quite a ripe but prime age I'd say. I know enough to get into trouble and I know enough to keep me out of trouble!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Let's manage expectations!

Business 101 - manage expectations. Parenting 101 - manage expectations!

In just about 5 weeks we head to S. Africa for a wedding. My good friend Taddy Blecher, social entrepreneur and founder of the free university in Johanneburg and his lovely bride Annie, will celebrate their wedding (in Iowa in June), with a reception for the friends on the other continent. Hunter is coming with us and is then staying on for 16 more days to do some voluteer work for Taddy. He will either help with math / English tutoring around the university, or help out at an orphanage, or at the large nature & animal reserve donated to Taddy by the Oppenheimers. We don't have a clear idea yet what Hunter will be involved in, but needless to say it will be a fantastic experience.

Very apropos, in the newspaper this morning was an article about the value of volunteer work and charity to your CV. I told Hunter about it and he responded "mom, I know - why do you think I'm going to S. Africa? I want to have that on my CV for college!" Doah!! How silly of me to think he wanted to help the African children....let's not get confused here. We need to manage expectations! "Besides, mom - it will also give me credit for CAS (creativity, action and service -a needed element of the IB Diploma) and the Duke of Edinburgh Award!" Well there you go, my son truly cares. I knew I had raised him with a desire to help the needy.

A memory springs to mind to when we left the US for Denmark in the summer of 1999 and sold all our worldly possesions in a garage sale for 10 cents on the dollar. Aidan, then age 7, told me he thought we should keep the house and let homeless people live in it. That came from the heart. Hunter's heart is just a little bit more hidden.... ;-)

Despite what his reasons for going seem to be, I am certain that this will turn out to be a life changing experience for him. Anybody who has spent even a few days in Johannesburg can vouch for the great disparity between have and have not and need for better social and educational conditions. I bet he comes back humbled!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

What comes around, goes around!

You can say I'm addicted to my horoscope. The one delivered by Susan Miller is my favorite as she is always spot on!

Just downloaded the July horoscope a few days ago and it is again proving to be accurate. For one, my sign (Cancer) has been hit hard by a long series of eclipses - both solar and moon - 3 the past few months! Eclipses usually signal an end of something. They are famous for ending situations that have no future and help us fix things that are broken. So doesn't that just sound perfect as I near my end with Cisco?





  • The new moon July 30 will be dedicated to helping me see more money in my bank account!


  • July 27 I can expect fabulous career news!


  • Both June 1 and June 15 eclipses will bring news on July 6 and July 26....here we go folks, last night (on July 6) I got word that Major Asshole (the VP who caused my demise) was asked to leave the Emerging Markets organization end of July! There it is, word it to yo mother, you got it, aha - oh YEAH!! KARMA!!


Victory, justice and halleluja - I'm gonna sit down with a glass of wine and enjoy a good movie. Aidan is in Fujeirah with Courtney and her family and Hunter is working tonight. Just me, myself, I and lil' Slimmy.

There 's a gecko in my boot!







Who would have thought that we have little critters in the sandbox? Sure I see lots of tracks when I ride in the desert - scorpions, spiders, lizards, snakes, hares, fox, gazelles (camels and horses). I just don't see much actual life there during the day. Once in a great while a gecko will run across the sand and then quickly burrow down. Funny pale little monsters.



Aside from the rat climbing down the side of the house one late night this winter, we don't see a lot of creepy crawlies around the garden. The occasional gecko likes to sit above the light at the side door and drive Slim crazy because he can't reach it.



I keep my riding boots outside the door to keep sand and dirt away. Every time I go riding, I just slip my feet into the boots without thinking. (At 6am you don't think much, it's basicly on auto pilot from bed to car, to petrol station for ice coffee, to ranch). This time, something squirmed around the toes in my left boot and I totally freaked out. Car keys and sunglasses went one way in the driveway and my body went the other....kicked off the boot and out comes a 2-inch gecko....he looked a lot more horrified than I was, and soon scurried under a bucket. Sh*t - I nearly had a heart attack and I could potentially have awoken the whole subdivision with my screams. Geckos are harmless and we need them to eat the bugs we don't want around.




Had dinner with my brother a few days ago; we are both alone at the moment - Tina and Josefine are in Denmark and Aric is in the US for work (and golf, golf and a little golf). So I told Mark the gecko story and he mentioned that he has spiders. Not many and not big, but the girls are terrified of them and he is at wits end. He then told me that Camel spiders are the worst...we started googling them and YouTubing the ones filmed in Iraq. I think we have them here too but I've never seen any - not even at the ranch, which you'd think would be a haven with hay and sand and stables. Apparently they can get so big that they eat geckos...how come where there a little critters, there are always bigger ones and bigger ones....



The day I find a camel spider in my boot I will truly freak!





Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Excuse me, who turned up the heat?

Phew, this is the first July I spend in Dubai. The past 2 summers Hunter and I have been lucky to get out of Dodge and spend 4-6 weeks in Copenhagen. It figures that when I finally have the time off and not working, I get stuck here! It's all Aidan's fault. Well, it's all Arizona State University's fault - they don't accommodate Freshmen who do not have summer school and since Aidan's program starts in Fall: no summer school? No housing! So we have to keep him here...more or less under cover as you know, until August 1.

The temperature has inched up to 45C / 113F - not at all unlike Arizona by the way, except it feels like 120F once you add the humidity. Every time I go riding in the desert it's like entering a sauna with an added sand blast effect - it's amazing I don't look 35, since I feel as if my skin has been sanded down 7 layers.

So the heat is on. The heat is on in other aspects of our lives too (and I'm not talking about our sex life here folks, though I'm not complaining....)

Our loyal readers (all 6 of you) will recall that I was sidelined by Major Asshole, VP extraordinaire in every aspect, especially to those outside his 'inner circle', round about February. Since then I've looked for several roles inside Cisco...roles that mysteriously disappeared once you applied for them! The last option was a super position in the Global Education team. A unique chance to do Business Development in Education, with governments, institutions and businesses in Africa - just up my alley!

Alas, it was not to be - budgets were cut, thus no expansion plans and no roles. On June 1, I humbly went to meet another VP in our region. An old ally, Aric's upline, a person I respect and see as fair and by the book - figured since Major Asshole was now going to report to this VP, it would interest the said VP that the Major had mine and several other grievances against him. The VP was indeed on to him, but as the Major is Dutch (no offense to my Dutch follower Marilijn ;-) there was not much he could do in terms of moving him out of the way fast, since the Dutch have like 160months notice period - GOD BLESS THE DUTCH!!

Instead, I got this long song and dance about hippies, treehuggers, fate and how you better make a decision yourself before it is made for you....blah blah blah...
I listened between the lines and decided then and there to sever my ties with the company I have worked for the last 12 years. It felt like a two ton Stone Henge blue stone was lifted off my shoulders. I've since then read my July horoscope forecast by Susan Miller (highly recommend) and it fits to a tee! NO, I am not on to some crystal and woodoo mumbo jumbo, but I will tell you that I am highly sensitive to the recent eclipses and there have been several full, new moon and sun eclipses in Cancer the past few months and in 2009! As a result, it states that I may have seen important news around June 1....well that's it then...I got my epiphany on June 1 in my conversation with the VP. It's fate! I'm meant to go off and pursue my passions!

Aric calls me a trophy wife and says that I must have a backup plan for retirement...I say bollocks (did you yanks know that word means testicles?)

I'm brainstorming daily. So my plan for running an organic pig farm is not sustainable...who knew?? I've got other ideas. A Sand Scrub Spa for example!!

My lawyer is dealing with Cisco's lawyers and I just wait for the outcome.

Yesterday I saw a mail that delivered a punch straight to my gut! They hired a person for the role in the Global Education Team. From the outside. Into the role I had pursued for months and was told there was no budget. So Cisco is firing thousands of people but reorganizing in such a way that they can take on new talent for less money. Typical. I hope Karma comes in full force and wipes out senior leadership. Until then, I'm going to continue my riding, abstract paint course and improving my golf handicap!

At least we are happy, healthy and the Eclipses are with us :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mission: Illegal Border Crossing

The car pulled up outside the lowrise building with tinted windows. The area was deserted except for a lonely, longhaired goat meandering along the curbs, looking for grass that hadn't been singed by the sun. A slight haze hung in the air from all the dust. It was supposed to be a simple job; in and out, nobody gets hurt. Everyone knew their role. Nothing was left to chance. This was too important to screw up.

Dad, the sponsor, would do the talking. Mom, the vehicle insured owner, and son, the centerpoint of the whole operation; the son, whose ability to stay in the UAE 30 more days, hung in a slim thread depending on the mood and attitude of the officer behind the immigration counter.

Entering the double doors, the cold air hit them like a mean gust from Lake Michigan on a January day. It nearly took their breath away. Finally, composing themselves, all three moved up to the counter with a confident stride and documents in hand. They were met by two men. One, in a dish-dash with aviator mirrored sunglasses; an odd attire for an officer on duty at such an intimidating entry point. The other, wearing a usual UAE uniform in a non-distinct color that hasn't yet been named after a vegetable, fruit or flower. Simply put, it was faded green. Not olive, nor zucchini, nor sage. Just......faded green.

Speaking on behalf of the family the Dad presented the documents, passports and cash on the counter, indicating that they were going to visit Oman for the day. There was a low murmur between the two immigration officers, only interrupted by the harsh click of the stamp hitting the passport pages. Minutes later they were on the way through the gate, past the roadwork, through the next gate and headed for the Oman checkpoint. A man in a small window of a mobile trailor pointed them towards "visitors", another trailor, where again, documents, cash and passports were requested. Luckily they had brought a lot of cash. It was well known that an operation such as theirs, required a lot of mulah and patience. Any deviation from the plan and their son could end up in a stinky jail cell. His very future depended on the mom and dad carrying out this mission with utmost care. They had years of previous field training in border crossings. The mom, having dealt with the world's most intimidating and daunting security and immigration situations in Nigeria, Miami and Bangalore, was ready for anything thrown at them; The dad was an expert in diplomacy when the mom skirted the law and he was yet again prepared to take drastic measures, should this escalate to an uncomfortable scene.

So far so good. Apart from having been ripped off to the tune of $70 for exit from UAE and entry into Oman, traveling only 100 yards, the mood was upbeat and the small group could see the end of their mission.

Going down to the next round-about and returning to the opposite side of the lowrise building with tinted windows, the trio now moved with such confidence that they might actually set a record in quick round trip border crossing. But the confidence soon turned to frustration and impatience. At the counter stood two foreigners. Behind the counter sat a baffled officer. Repeatedly trying to get the passport reader to register the barcode, he was unraveling. Beads of sweat had begun forming on his large forehead and a few trickled down and dripped on to the documents in front of him. The trio sat calmly in the waiting section, watching as the officer started to pound characters on his keyboard. He then started to stamp furiously - page after page, document after document, click, click, click. To interrupt the stagnant wait, the mom walked up to the counter next to the other foreigners and took a peak across the desk. On the floor next to the officer, sat a large laundry basket. Pink. Plastic weave. Full of stamps. It's a known fact that the Emiratis are stamp happy. Now, she saw with her own eyes that it was no myth.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the trio was called up to the counter. More cash layout. More passport stamps. Nearly there....
The mom was a stickler for details; they could not afford to have any margin of error. Noticing that the son's stamp didn't specify "30 days stay" she asked the officer why. He eyed her with a confused look. Clarifying, the mom pointed out that when the son entered at Dubai airport May 17, he received a stamp stating "30 days stay" and this was why the group had embarked on the mission of crossing the border in Oman...they desparately needed to have a renewed stamp that allowed the son to stay longer. Without noticing, another officer had slowly moved nearer to the counter where the trio leaned. The two officers now started to discuss the situation - in Arabic. The word Khalas [HA_LAHS] came popping up. It means finished, done. At one point the officer slapped the passport page hard and said khalas! It became clear that the residence visa had been cancelled, rightfully so, as the son had been on a longterm mission outside the UAE for 10 months. He now needed to be leagally able to stay in the UAE until his next mission, in the US, began in August. It was dire that the officers understood the plea and that they stamped the right message in the passport!

Two more officers approached the counter. For 20 minutes they argued and discussed what to do. Finally the main officer turned to the dad and said "airport make mistake. You go to immigration office in Dubai and get new visa. Visa now cancelled, khalas, this trip never happened. You never came through here. Now go." The dad asked what would happen if they didn't get a new visa and he was met by a horrified look and reply, "this would be very, very bad, very bad!!" The trio did not argue. They had failed in their assignment but it was solely due to the usual inability of the government of Dubai to train their employees. Knowing when to duck back in the car and move on, they drove in silence, back to Dubai, to continue with their efforts of obtaining a visa for their son.

It was another 2 weeks, 3 visits to the immigration office and more cash layout before they got the stay extended to July 26. This left the question "what about July 26-Aug 1??" unanswered. Could they afford to ignore it and risk something "very very bad" ? Or would they need to return to the immigration office to plea for another 6 days? Stay tuned to the finale!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Married with Children



It was the period of big hair (supported by a large amount of hairspray) and big shoulder pads! Topping the charts were Steve Winwood, Aerosmith, White Snake and Huey Lewis. "Faith" by George Michael and “I wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston played until you were so fed up listening that you wanted to throw out the radio. The US Dollar to the British Pound was 1.63.

Knots Landing was in full season with Val and Abbey fighting over Gary Ewing! Who’s the Boss?, the Cosby Show and Moon Lighting were the Top TV Shows and at the Box Office Wall Street, Predator, Full Metal Jacket and Dirty Dancing raked in the $$.

My wedding dress cost $39.95 at JC Penney and I had worn it two years prior at another wedding! Aric wore the same suit he had on for his graduation :)

We lived in the basement of a house we managed for the landlord and slept movingly on Aric’s waterbed! I worked for WINI radio and made $200 a week selling radio ad space.

On June 6, 1987 - 24 years ago - we decided to get married. Aric had been offered a job at Machinery Systems, in Schaumburg IL (that lasted about 3 months...I don't recall why he left, but it may have been the lure of Wall Street - not the movie but rather the whole dynamic process of making money). He started at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange on Black Tuesday in October, when everything crashed!

Yeah, those were the days, pre-kids, when we were young and carefree and had the time to work two jobs each to save up for our first house. It's been a great journey!