No pain, no gain...sacrifice the body!

Why are fitness instructors always called real cutesy names like Denise, Amber, Belinda and other “I absolutely hate you for making me hurt and sweat, but I can’t stay mad at you because you are called blah blah blah” - names??
We just joined the local health club and I’m already well indoctrinated into Body Pump, Body Balance (Yoga/Pilates), RPM (spinning) and Circuit Training (pure hell) classes. Wonder what compels me to try to squat with a 25 kg bar, while the Black Eyed Peas belt out “Tonight’s gonna be a good night”? I totally blame Fiona, previously my running buddy, now my self-appointed "personal trainer", who conspicuously neglected to tell me she had me join all the ADVANCED classes. Aric is doing muscle “guy stuff” with her husband, Angus, our Cisco colleague, while I do the “girlie classes” with Fiona (butt and abs work, ouch!)

They trick you! Having the Body Balance class outside on the grass, in the warm sun, fools you into thinking that it will be a picnic. Well let me tell you – when you try to do the three-legged dog, lifting one leg into the scorpion, easing down into the fish (which is nothing more than a slow push-up) falling into a belly flop and then 'rolling' up into the sun warrior – it feels more like a serious session of Twister! Once I unfold from my pretzel like state, I do feel relaxed, admittedly, but it’s the agonizing journey of getting to that stage, when your body feels like it’s in a vice! Nothing Chi about that!!

Even Slim is on a strict exercise regime. He runs every morning with Aric. They do 3km around the Lakes community and our neighborhood and he keeps up while greeting several other dogs along the way.

The only person in the family, who doesn’t exercise regularly, is Hunter. His thumbs get plenty of action while on PS3 video games; then again, he is so skinny we struggle to convince him why he should go and sweat it out in a gym.

Bottom line is that we are very heart conscious now and it seems to have an overall positive affect on the family dynamics. I highly recommend it!

Burj Dubai aka Burj Khalifa aka extremely tall building

I felt like Meg Ryan in the movie French Kiss; where she chases her fiancée to Paris and just keeps missing seeing the Eiffel Tower and its flashing light show.
We had a perfect spot to see the planned firework show at Burj Dubai. Sitting on the hood of the car in a parking lot about half a mile from the tower, I was pretty excited. This was spontaneous so to get a spot this close was a big score. Of course Aric then got the idea that we could actually get closer if we went around Dubai Mall, into the area of the plaza lake. The rockets shot off while we were dashing through traffic, around the mall and into the heavily populated area of people with cameras. Just as we were behind the highest wall of the mall, the grand finale started. Talk about being in the wrong spot at the right time! We missed the entire fireworks show!! We also missed the moment when Sheikh Mohammed unveiled the new name. Gritting his teeth while announcing that the world’s tallest building had now changed name to Burj Khalifa, he mumbled the last few words and dashed off the stage. Some people are SO sensitive!! Who cares what it’s called. It will always be known as Burj Dubai, just like Sears Tower will be Sears Tower, even though Bruce Willis bought it and renamed it to Willis Tower (or was it another Willis??)! I guess when you pay $10 billion to bail out debt on a building; you ought to have your name attached to it.

Oh well, it was an exciting night and I got an ice cream out of it. Typically, I left my camera at home – and Aric just gave me a new fancy digital one for Christmas – so I have no prize winning images of the 8th wonder of the World.

We haven’t been up in the tower yet. I’m not in a hurry to take an elevator that goes up 100 meters per second. I’d like to stay 5’7” for a while until osteoporosis takes it toll on my bones naturally. Aric and I have been invited to “test drive” yet another hotel. This time the Armani Hotel, slated to open March 28. It will take up a few floors around the 35th level, so I am excited about seeing the designer suite. We know the architect who worked on the interior design and his wife, who is a VIP hostess manager, welcoming celebs and catering to their every whim. Only fitting that Aric and I – as expat VIPs – give it a go to provide Giorgio with some needed feedback!

Ooops, he did it again!!

I'm checking Slim into rehab. The little lush got drunk and threw up again, New Years eve! Two teenagers at 16 and 17 and the one who gives us the most trouble is our puppy! But I digress....

Christmas was very nice and enjoyable, albeit quiet, partly due to Aric's heart attack and partly because of our move. We were graced with Mutti, Pia's mom, who stayed for a month and helped us pack and organize the move from the Penthouse to the house in The Lakes community. Downsizing yet again, we sold several pieces of furniture and curtains. It feels good to "purge" once in a while. Our friends Lorraine and Peter Maartensson came for dinner Christmas eve and we were spoiled with a Scandinavian taste of heering, ice cold Absolut shots (in absence of Akvavit Snaps), liver pate, smoked and gravad laks (salmon) in addition to grilled shrimps and tuna steaks. I know Mutti was disappointed that we didn't cook a duck, but honestly, with the heart patient present, we opted out of greasy transfats.

Hunter got electronics for Christmas. A new iTouch which he sleeps with every night, and a personal Stereo, which we all enjoy, as the volume usually exceed approved government DB levels. Since Aidan is embarking on worldly travels after his graduation, we thought he might be ready for his own personal credit card. Can y'all remember when we qualified for our own first "gold" mastercard? Dashing out to the mall to buy useless stuff only to realize the interest 25 days later. So Aric and I gave Aidan his first economics 101 lesson and we must have scared him because he was speechless after realizing the sheer responsibility. It took him 4 days and 17 pages of paper of practicing his signature before he put his John Hancock on the back of the card. I doubt we will see that card out of his wallet for the next 6 months.

It was a golf Christmas for Aric...as part of his recovery and rehab....and he was doused with lessons, shirts, balls etc. I scored a new putter! Eager to try everything out, we played a Par 3 with The Maartenssons on Boxing Day. For once, there was no water around this course, so I avoided losing precious balls; normally I can aim 180 degrees away from the water and somehow my ball has a sonar that directs it right into the deep! However, there was plenty of sand pits and I played most of the course with the sand wedge rather than my irons! Did nothing to improve my handicap!!

On New Years eve we headed to Jumeirah Islands where Angus and Fiona hosted 40-50 people for a great bash. Finally an opportunity to dress up in fancy clothes and party with the rest of the Cisco wives! It was 2.30am when we made it to our home only to find Slim gone. Aidan had several friends over for a pre-party, but they insisted and swore they locked all doors before leaving at 11pm. Overcome with emotion (most likely intensified by several glasses of champagne), I walked around the neighborhood calling for my baby....sobbing like an idiot and seeing images of Slim being torn to pieces by pitbulls in illegal dog fighting, deep in Dubai's dark secret gambling underworld! My heart was bleeding and in my despair (or drunken stupor?), I neglected to see a missed call on my mobile earlier, from a neighbor four homes away, who had seen Slim and taken him in. When I finally got my whits back, I listened to the voicemail and ran to her house where Slim had just been picked up by Hunter. No sooner had he returned to the house, where he did a U-turn in the living room and proceeded to jump out of the window. So that's how the escape artist got out....sliding the screen open and slipping through the front yard. How he managed to walk on all fours was beyond us, as he had earlier knocked over a beer and drunk it all, plus lapped up several libations at the neighbor's home too. Hunter caught him again and brought him back where he (Slim) proceeded to throw up all over the kitchen floor.

He is now in the dog house and on the wagon!! If he blows his probation we will need to send him to the Betty Ford Center!

Just missing the National Anthem

Finally! After 11 months of training and building myself up to the challenge (only interrupted by a hysterectomy) I nailed a half marathon! Well, there was that 'small insignificant' half marathon in Durban, South Africa, in October - but mentally that really doesn't count as I only did half of a half! It's all my mate Steve's fault. He said to do the run with he and his friends and he also said that there would be a few hills. A few hills!!! Starting the first 2 km like I was climbing Mount Everest is not really "a few hills"!! The jelly beans I brough in my back pocket for self reward and motivation every 5km, had melted into a goopy mass and from there it went downhill -- literally...the downhills killed me (or my knee) so I finally gave up at the 11 km mark.

Fortunately Dubai is flat as a pancake (aside from the world's tallest building) so I figured I could handle that run to the end. Running for Aric's heart kept me going - along with The Black Eyed Peas and their Boom Boom Pow songs. I finished the run in 2 hrs 27 min, according to the clock (2.29 according to the mat computer) - so I made my goal which was under 2 and 1/2 hours! A well deserved breakfast afterwards with real pork bacon made the day for me. Bexta finished in 2.03 but she is fitter than me (not that we were competing ;-)

Got the medal and wondering if I should run the full marathon in Copenhagen in May. I can evaluate that after the Christmas dinner and a few glasses of champagne!

We are all so ready, gifts have been wrapped and hidden until we get the tree up. We weren't going to have a tree, but the kids changed their minds as they got more and more in the spirit, so now we are going to see if we can source a real pine tree in time. Aidan and Mutti have spent all morning rolling marzipan and dipping the goodies in chocolate. Aidan is certainly giving Godiva a run for the money as master chocolatier! YUM!!

Merry Christmas 2009

One little Indian, two little Indians, three little Indians....

As if Aric's heart attack didn't stretch us enough mentally, we also moved home the same week he was just out of the hospital recovering. Fortunately Mutti (Pia's mom) came to the rescue from Copenhagen and has been an absolute God send in her help with packing, cleaning and organizing all the things. I do recall a year ago when we moved from the temporary housing (hotel apartment) into the penthouse, right after I was sick in Nigeria. Deja vu??

There was a relocation agent involved last year and somehow she was missing this year. I never thought those agents worked hard for their money....boy have I changed my mind! You wouldn't think something as simple as switching Elec and Water from one place / account to another, would be a difficult and timeconsuming event. What was I thinking - this is Dubai!

Three separate visits to DEWA (Dubai Electric and Water Authority) - each time taking a number "you are number 1223 - now serving number 1167" AAARRRGGHHH.....

"No Madame, it's not possible to change the name on the account, you must close the penthouse account, pay the final bill and then apply to open the account for the villa!! OK, so let's do that...." -- "Madame, it takes 4 days to request the final bill. Come back in 4 days and bring cash!"

4 days later, taking a number "serving number 1183, you are number 1298" AAARRRGGGHHH..... "Madame your final payment due is 7342 dirhams (WHAT?????) ...and what is "housing fee"? "Madame that is a 5% fee of your total rent, charged by the Dubai municipality on your bill". But I pay rent already!! What is the housing fee for? "Madame I don't know, please go to Dubai municipality to ask them"! AAARRRGGGHHH....

You get the drift. Changing from one CableTV / internet provider to another was also a breeze. DU told me that they could have me up and running on December 1. That was until another DU guy told Aric that DU doesn't service our neighborhood. Etisalat is the service provider! Hmmnn, so then let's get Etisalat to hook up the stuff. "Madame, we will forward your request to the CableTV dept and they will let you know if it's available." TV is not available?? What about internet? "Would you like dial up?" DID SOMEONE SAY FLINTSTONES????

56 hours later three Indians knocked on our door and told us they were the internet people. Right, good - this is where we would like our outlets activated. "Madame it is not possible to have more than one!" AAARRRGGGHHH -- what???? But we have 4 PCs and a million wireless devices! "Madame we have to put just one outlet by the main box ... (behind 17 moving boxes in the small storage space under the stairs!!) Then you just pull on the wires to find out where they lead to!" Oh of course we do that! Start pulling the spaghetti, kids!!! We haven't heard from the CableTV dept yet, but the satelite dish on the roof sort of gives us the verdict already!!

One of the positive things of moving from the penthouse to the villa, is that we can re-use our curtains - they just needed to be taken up and refitted slightly. 5 days later, 7 Indians knocked on the door. I like their efficiency... one to put up the ladder, another to hold the ladder, one person to put all the hooks into the curtain tape, one to drill holes; one person to install the curtain rods and tracks, one person to hang the curtains - another to have conversations on his mobile phone with the boss, to make sure the curtains go in the right room. Finally one person to keep an eye on the van parked out front. The sheer teamwork is just so impressive we Westerners could learn from this process!

All in all, we do love the house and the yard. Slim more than anyone as he gets to pee on grass rather than concrete. We are still decorating. Aric shouldn't really strain himself with lifting the drill and hanging pictures, so we wait patiently for the January stress test when he gets the green light to start DIY projects. Meanwhile, we have a "boxed look" going on!

My dog ate my homework!

Tom laid very still with his chest up. It was dark and wet around him and not a sound could be heard in the maid's room, where he had been laying for 2 days, while thawing his frozen body! The brine marinade of salt, onions, orange, salt, pepper and other spices, seeped slowly through his skin and penetraded his entire flesh! What a journey he had been on, from the farm in the US, to the cargo ship and onto the dusty truck who finally dropped him off in Dubai. It was his destiny to end his days here with the Aults - he was as dead as a headless turkey can be! The only remainding pleasure Tom would enjoy, was to get as tan as possible, so people would admire his pumped up physique before plunging their fork and knife into his thighs and breast!

Aric had proudly marinated Tom the Turkey for days and with 12 guests arriving Thanksgiving evening, we were all looking forward to sinking our teeth into a real traditional US meal with all the trimmings! Sadly this was just not in the cards this year. As most of you already know, Aric found the ultimate excuse to get out of cooking that day -- he suffered a heart attack in the early morning. For 2 days prior he had complained of chest pains and pains in his arms down towards the elbows. Because he had manhandled the 20 lbs turkey, as well as done push-ups, we just kept thinking he might be sore from working out or perhaps having a bit of heart burm / indigestion. While I was handpainting the name cards for the seating arrangement, the night before, he had a very severe pain attack and we made our way to the car to go to the hospital. Then the pain stopped abruptly! With pies in the oven and a turkey to stuff, Aric changed his mind about going and went back to lay down. Two more attacks in the middle of the night and at 6am and we were on our way to the hospital by 7.30.

The admitting nurse put him on the EKG immediately and 30 minutes into the monitoring one more pain attack occurred right in front of the cardiac specialist. Aric was admitted and brought to the cardio operating room so fast there was hardly time to sign the consent form - they had him under local anasthetic and performed a coronary angioplasty and inserted two stents where the blockages were detected.

We were fortunate that the doctor on call was the leading surgeon for this in the Middle East region and fully educated in the US. Dr Hallak did a wonderful job in 2 hours and told us that if we had waited even a few hours longer to come, it would have been too late and Aric would have had a major heart attack, rather than a minor one which left only little damage on the heart. He is now home and relaxing, reading, putzing around enjoying life. We are all grateful and happy that he was taken care of fast and efficient and that we reacted fairly quickly despite not having any supicion that it could be a heart attack. This seems more stress related than health / eating issue related, so we are evaluating what choices we now have to make Aric's "work-life balance" more focused on life.

What happened to Tom? Well, I had to cook the beast! Couldn't leave him in the brine solution forever, so in true American spirit of "going on for the team and the greater good" - I invited just half of the guests who I knew would be good company for the kids and I in such a difficult situation. Besides - two homemade cheesecakes and two banana-cream pies were also at stake here!! So my faithful running partner Bexta, her friend Christophe, our Swedish-Irish friends Peter and Lorraine and my friend from the US, Lori, joined the boys and I for a succulent dinner! Aric was presented very tasty leftovers the next morning and while munching on the moist breast meat, wowed that Christmas Eve will see Tom's offspring: "Tom Junior" cooked the right "Aric way" !!

No excuses will be accepted this time and one can expect the gravy to be made from low-fat drippings!