Lost in Translation!

William Glasser said that:

We learn…
10% of what we read,
20% of what we hear,
30% of what we see
40% of what we both see and hear,
70% of what is discussed with others
80% of what we experience personally
and
90% of what we teach someone else.

With that formula in mind, I get about 38.7% of what transpires in Dubai!

It's all about how you communicate....I should know! I hold a degree in Speech Communications and with a gazillion years in International Relations and "working across culture" courses behind me I ought to be an expert in communicating and understanding.

Daily things seem to get lost in translation. Take my dog for example! At 11 months, Slim doesn't seem to know his own name. He pretty much answers to every name the boys choose to call him at the moment: Slimothy, boy, little critter, baby, puppy, ugly-face and a variety of other non-Slim names. Then again, he was born in Russia, so maybe his real name is Vladimir and he is thinking "don't these people get it??

Along the road to the boys' school, there is a sign which reads "we apologize for inconvenient landscaping" - THANK YOU FOR APOLOGIZING! Frankly I have been absolutely disgusted and very inconvenienced by all those damn colorful flowers, shrubs and bushes around the clover-leaf exits and would much rather look at bare sand piles along the roads!

On the radio there has recently been a commercial playing 5-6 times a day about road safety and how to prevent accidents. The announcer is Arab and goes on talking about statistics and that "most accidents are caused by fast speeding - and would people please consider slower speeding?" - personally I am not sure that slow speeding would solve the problem! Speeding is just that right? Speeding...i.e. going too fast? Maybe it's just me.

When you get a ticket in Dubai - be it speeding or parking, and no police has been involved (such as with speed cameras and an over-zealous parking officer) you don't have to pay the fine. Well you have 15 days to pay, but if you don't, it only accrues a few extra dollars per year. Many people never pay until they renew their registration after 12 months and find out they can't renew until they settle their outstanding fines. That's sort of normal here. So we know that we have 3-4 parking tickets between us (we know because we have the piece of paper which has a whole lot of Arabic written on it but nothing in English to tell you why you got the fine and how much it is for). So we throw these in a pile in the office.

Once I took a right turn in a round-about, even though a policeman was directing traffic and had stopped my lane from going. I was late for school run so I decided to ignore him. In my rear-view mirror I saw him take down my license plate so I figured "OK, that's going to cost" - but since we have no clue where to pay, or show up in court, we sort of ignore these incidents too. The only thing we would NEVER ignore is an accident, as you can't get your car repaired until you have a police report, so you are pretty much forced to stay and wait for the cops.

You can input your license plate number in the police website system and see what fines you have outstanding. Aric and I have been a little hesitant - why tarnish our happy life with bad news? I was finally compelled to look when Aric came home with yet another parking ticket. To my surprise - Aric only had 2 unpaid tickets. A third ticket was not in even the system - wonder where that went? Maybe it received clemency because of the economic recession.

When I typed in my license plate number I almost fell off my chair. The expected ticket, for ignoring the policeman at the round-about, was not there - BUT I had 98 unpaid fines for SALIK (toll). I was completely paralyzed. Each salik was 50 dirhams so the total was well over 4900 dirhams ($1330 US) with penalties. Normally, when you have a SALIK tag, the tolls are 4 dirhams each. I do have a tag, which I bought in October 08 and which I thought Aric topped up for me. So I called the Road and Transport Authority office to ask why I was being fined. I told them all the evidence I had of buying the tag and activating it. He asked me if I had an account number and PIN. "No"! Well that was sent to me via SMS he said. I responded that I'd never received any SMS. He told me 98 texts had been sent to me since October. I was baffled. Turns out they sent the texts to 050-603-5953 not 056- .... so it was their fault of recording the wrong mobile number in their system. Wow - was I relieved. I now had to just go to the RTA office and fill out a dispute claim form and then it would all be fixed. Sounded easy enough!

Aidan and I drove to the nearest RTA building. We took a number (like in the post office) and low and behold, we were the next ones up at counter 4, number 695. There was no 694 person at the counter and the RTA man was just sitting there babbling on his cell phone. And babbling, and babbling. Finally I made eye contact with him and gently waved the number so he could see we were actually next - you don't want to mess with Emirati public servants. They hold the power, man! He babbled a bit more - probably with his wife about what was on for dinner. And since I was a woman and an ex-pat, surely he saw no reason to speed up the process. Finally he finished his call and waved us over. Fully dressed in the dish-dash with scarf and robe and prayer beads, he listened to my explanation of why I had not paid toll for 8 months. Well, nobody asked me! He asked me if I didn't find it strange that I never got an SMS. I said it wasn't my fault they recorded the wrong number and then I pointed out that they had my email AND postal address so surely they could have sent me a letter once they realized I didn't respond to the SMS. He mumbled something in Arabic (I am sure it qualified as swear words).

He then made me go to the coin operated copy machine (did I ever mention we don't pay income tax, but that everything else makes up for that in nickels and dimes?) and make two copies of all docs plus my drivers license plus the car registration card. Then he stamped them 7 times - and I feel very priviledged because the more stamps the more important and official it is! Now we wait 14 days, then call the RTA and give them the case number and then we pray to Allah that the system has erased the 98 x 50 and charged me 98 x 4. He recommended that I top up my tag. Naturally!! Of course it is not possible to top up at the actual RTA office (where they are responsible for toll) - no, that would be too logical. You top up at any gas station by buying a scratch card like it was a lotto card - and then you get the honor of calling in the serial number on your mobile phone at prime rates. Well, I'm topped up and now go through the toll gates with a clear conscience (and a big smile).

I've been looking for a good place to get my hair cut. For five years in England I only had one person, Nicki, cut my hair. I don't like change so I have been holding off, but truly it isn't economical to fly to England every time I need a haircut. With places like "Moulin Rouge" and "Desire Salon" in our neighborhood, I was wondering whether I could get a 'cut and blowdry' or if the 'blow' in places with such names meant something along the lines of a Gentlemen's club!
Finally I worked up the courage to enter a salon called Eric Zeller - that sounded foreign and Mod, a bit Swiss, which I took to mean precise edges! Maria from Ukraine greeted me and at first I was sceptic...so many articles in the news about prostitutes from Russia and former USSR. But she was dressed like a normal hairdresser so I figured I was in good hands. I plan to go back for a trim in July!

While Aric and I was in Spain, I figured I could use a few highlights. So I went to the hotel salon and asked to be "a little blonder" - "Si, si blanco"! NO, NO! Not white...B L O N D E R!! Si, Blanco! I gave up, my Spanish has known better days. I showed her a picture in a magazine of Madonna (without the dark roots) and prayed that I wouldn't come out platin blond like Paris Hilton. I think it was a success.